


Ace Of Spades

by fabric_hands



Category: Deltarune, Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, crackfic, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 17:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16497470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabric_hands/pseuds/fabric_hands
Summary: “I downloaded this new MP3 of these new splat noises I found, it’s the best!”Kaard let out a long, resigned sigh.





	Ace Of Spades

“Rouxls!” Lancer exclaimed shrilly, crossing his arms. “Rou-uxls!”

Kaard flinched from within his shop, and sighed. Lancer was back— presumably after a long day of getting lost in the mazes. The child was an idiot, but he was the boss’ child, so nothing could really be done about it.

It was common for Lancer to invite himself in, play with items on Rouxls’ shelves, and force Kaard to listen to those heinous cartoon sound MP3s. It was torture in its purest form. Rouxls just wanted to do his job, or make a puzzle, but no. His time nowadays was spent taking care of this tater tot of a child.

Lancer burst through the door and rambled excitedly up to Kaard, who was reclined comfortably on the floor reading a magazine (Puzzles Monthly). He held his old iPod in a fat little fist, and had that stupid buck-toothed grin on his face.

“Rouxls!” He yelled again, even though Kaard was literally right there.

He sighed. “Yes?”

”I downloaded this new MP3 of these new splat noises I found, it’s the best!”

Kaard sat up and let out a long, resigned sigh. “Pray tell, thou wisht me to listen to them?”

”Yeah!” He held out an earbud eagerly. 

Rouxls turned to face Lancer, and attempted to put on a patient face. He didn’t like the kid, but he couldn’t get in trouble by showing his irritation. “I do not crave thine pithy noises.”

Tongue stuck out, Lancer stared at Rouxls blankly. He didn’t understand Kaard’s Old English.

”I don’t want to.” He clarified, switching back to normal.

Lancer scrunched up his face. “You don’t?”

”No. Mine time is valued, and I wish’nt to spend it listening to cartoon drivel.”

Lancer began to wimper, and his mouth formed into a tight, and angry line. He clenched his fists. “If you don’t,” he said, almost warning. “I’ll tell my dad.”

Kaard inhaled, panicked, and looked around. He picked up his magazine and flipped to a crossword page. “Hither. I have procured thou a Junior Jumble.”

”Ooh!” Lancer snatched up the magazine, crumpling the cover. He completely forgot about his iPod.

Rouxls released a breath, relieved he was out of trouble. The child held his career in the palm of his meaty little hand— Kaard had to be careful with what he did.

“Thanks, lesser dad!”

The nickname made Kaard furrow his brow.

“Yea, yea. Sure.” He mumbled, “Though I am not thine father.”

“I know,” Lancer grinned. “That’s why I said _lesser_ dad!”

Rouxls grit his teeth. “Right.”

The room was finally quiet, and Rouxls counted his blessings as Lancer flipped through the pages. Though Kaard couldn’t enjoy his magazine now, he could at least savor the silence that was so rare in the castle. He just sat there, listening to Lancer scribble.

Lancer stuck out his tongue as he filled out the puzzle. “Y’know,” he said, scribbling messy letters in the little boxes. “You really are like a dad to me.”

Kaard crossed his arms. “I am not thy dad.” He repeated.

”Well, Yeah.” Lancer blew a raspberry. “My dad’s my dad.”

”Then why doth thou speak to me as thy father?” Rouxls asked, planting a hand on his hip.

”You’re nice to me,” Lancer paid rapt attention to Kaard. “And you let me hang out with you.”

”We—“ Kaard caught himself. “We do not ‘hang out’.”

”Yeah, we do! I come to your shop,” Lancer began rattling off a list. “I play with your jar of worms. You listen to the fart noises I download. You give me your magazines.” He held up the one in his hand to demonstrate.

”I expect that back.”

”So I guess,” Lancer said, not hearing Kaard. “You are like my dad.”

”Thine father possesses worms?” Rouxls had a hint of interest in his voice. “May I meet them?”

”Nah, he doesn’t have worms.” Lancer shook his head. “And he doesn’t listen to my MP3s, or give me magazines...” he trailed off a bit.

Rouxls unfolded his arms.

”But you’re cool, Rouxls!” Lancer lit up, smiling the biggest, most childish smile. “You’re nice to me, even though you’re not really my dad. Nicer than my actual dad, really.”

Hesitating, Rouxls turned his entire body to Lancer. The kid had looked back down to the magazine, and his scribbling slowed. He seemed sad.

Kaard looked at the iPod, earbuds strewn about on the floor. Reluctantly, he picked it up.

”You...” he didn’t bother with the Old English. “You said you got some new splat noises?”

Lancer looked at the iPod in his hand, then dropped the pencil in his excitement. He grinned his little buck-toothed grin.


End file.
